I wish I could say I was clever enough to think up this idea, but it comes from a friend. Replace any one word in a movie title with the word “bacon.” Like “Casabacon,” or “Gone With the Bacon.” What you got?
4 medium (about 8 ounces total) tomatillos, husked, rinsed and cut in half crosswise
4 ramps (wild spring leeks) or large green onions OR a 1-inch-diameter bunch of garlic chives
a little olive or vegetable oil
1 large fresh serrano or small fresh jalapeño, stemmed
4 thick slices (about 4 ounces) bacon
3 ripe medium-large avocados
2 tablespoons fresh lime juice
about 2 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro, plus extra leaves for garnish
Heat a gas grill to medium or light a charcoal grill and let it burn until the coals are medium-hot and covered with gray ash. Lay the halved tomatillos cut side down on a rimmed baking sheet or metal baking pan and slide onto the grill. Brush the ramps (or green onions or garlic chives) with oil. Lay them directly on the grill, along with the chile (no oil needed). Grill the ramps (or their stand-ins) and the chile, turning occasionally, until soft and richly browned—the ramps will take 4 to 5 minutes, the chile about 10.
Cook the tomatillos about 3 to 4 minutes, until soft and browned on one side, then flip them over and cook the other side. Cool everything. Finely chop the ramps (etc.) and chile, then scrape into a large bowl. Chop the tomatillo into small pieces and scrape them in with the ramps, then scrape in any juice that remains on the baking sheet.
While the grilled vegetables are cooling, cook the bacon in a single layer in a large skillet over medium heat, turning every once in a while, until browned and crispy, about 10 minutes. Drain on paper towels, then chop into small pieces.
Cut the avocados in half, running a knife around the pit from top to bottom and back up again. Twist the halves in opposite directions to release the pit from one side of each avocado. Remove the pit, then scoop the flesh from each half into the bowl with the tomatillos. With an old-fashioned potato masher, a large fork or the back of a large spoon, coarsely mash the avocado with the tomatillo mixture. Stir in the lime juice, cilantro and half of the bacon. Taste and season with salt, usually about 1 teaspoon. Cover with plastic wrap pressed directly on the surface of the guacamole and refrigerate until you're ready to serve.
When that time comes, scrape the guacamole into a serving dish and sprinkle with the remaining bacon. Garnish with cilantro leaves.
bacon recipe courtesy of: Rick Bayless, Epicurious.com, January 2013
So. 2/3 cup lentils2 slices thick cut bacon (more is great too, that's just what I had handy)8 cloves garlic3 slices bread (day-old/stale works well, but fresh is fine too. but it needs to be real bread, the quality kind with a proper crust, not some sliced sammich shit.)oreganovinegar (red wine is best, but I ran out and supplemented with apple cider and then, in desperation, balsamic)salt
Peel and finely chop the garlic. In a heavy bottomed pot over medium-low heat, fry the bacon. Once the fat has rendered, remove the strips, setting them aside to cool. Maybe throw in some extra bacon grease - I did. Add the diced garlic to the fat, and as soon as it starts to sizzle and get fragrant - ie, before it turns brown or black, which happens so much faster than you'd expect - add the lentils and toss. Then add 4 cups of water, some salt, a bunch of oregano, and a good few glugs of vinegar. Cook at a medium-low simmer until the lentils are done. Every recipe I consulted said this would take about 25 minutes, but wtf, my lentils took like an hour. What's that about**. Anyways, be sure to check on 'em occasionally and add more water if necessary. Once the lentils are basically cooked, toast your 3 slices of bread (stale bread would not require toasting), roughly chop it, and add it to the pot. Boom, you're done.
EDIT:Oh, I forgot - about 20 minutes into cooking, I discovered that I had two very nice tomatoes, so I chopped them up and added them as well. You could probably use a can of diced ones too. I think they're a good touch.
*Which, by the way, I have made with a surprise addition of chorizo, and it worked very well. I thought I'd posted about that, but apparently not. Mea culpa!
**Incidentally, one recipe I saw said to put the lentils in cold salted water, bring it to a boil, cook 5 minutes, remove from heat, let them sit for an hour, then cook 25 minutes. This seemed like a royal pain in the ass, but maybe it would be more effective?